Thursday, July 18, 2013

Two Long Months

This is mostly for my sweet teen followers, but it's applicable to everyone.

Brandon made a BIG difference in many, many lives in his short time on this earth. None of you forget that. Carry his legacy on for generations and don't let his death and his beautiful life be in vain. Live like today is your last, which means loving every person you can with all you have. If they don't have you tomorrow, they will have the memories of your love to sustain them.

Burying a child is the most horrific pain that can ever be experienced on this earth.  It is primal, a guttural wailing in the soul that begs for relief that can't be found.   You cannot hide from it, dull it or pretend it doesn't exist.  It will not be ignored.  It will ache and ache and ache some more and when the gift of shock wears off, it will hurt like hell all over again.  I think people would be ashamed of what I'd trade, without batting an eyelash, to have him back.  For one day.  One hour.

Before you take that risky step, before you take a ride from a drunk driver, before you think that doing something one time is no biggie, stop and picture your parents in a fetal position begging and pleading to God to give you back and, when the answer is no, they cannot have you back, picture them begging God to take them, too.  I've had to utter the words, "My son passed away," more times than I can count and each time my heart breaks all over, again. 

This season of your life is a hard one.  Gosh, you couldn't pay me enough money to be a teenager, again, but I promise you, it's a short one.  Things will get better.  Someday, you'll have kids at your feet calling you mommy or daddy.  Please, please do not make your parents sit at a funeral home sobbing over pictures of flowers and caskets.  Call me.  I will give you a ride.  I will give you a shoulder, I will just sit and stare at the wall with you, if that's what you need.  Remember my boy and remember that what Brandon wanted for all of you was to be ok, to be healthy and free.  And, if you name all of your kids Brandon, well, that would be awesome, too :))

One of the most ridiculous platitudes-if it can even be called that-has been one of the most reassuring....everybody dies, sometime.  It's not a pretty statement, but it is reality.  Sadly, we lost a beautiful soul too early, but we can all honor his life by helping just one person.  We will all die, someday, and I hope you will all be with us in that spectacular Paradise, but until then, be there for just one person that you wouldn't have otherwise been there for.  Brando would just love that.

10 comments:

  1. Thanks, Ernster...miss you much!

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  2. <3 perfect Lisaloo. love you! ~Shanny

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  3. Sorry for your loss... but may I ask... How did he pass?

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    1. can you email me privately, please, since u don't know who in replying to? It's lisa.kashef @ gmail. com

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  4. Lisa I can never say enough how sorry I am for your loss, but you are so brave for putting what you are going through out there. I can feel every heartbreaking word that you type deep in my soul. I just want to wrap my arms around you and help you heal. Love you my friend
    Nix

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    1. thanks for reading, Nix. It's been a lot harder to sort my thoughts enough to even make sense. I go back and read and think wow, people are gonna be so confused bc I confuse myself, but I think that people get the gist of most of it. I really appreciate comments so I know it's not always gibberish. love you, too, my friend

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  5. This was an awesome, beautiful post. I hope his friends will read this or a teen will come across it and it will touch them in the way they need. God is already using Brando's passing for good things, and he will touch many lives to come. XOXO

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  6. Shannon Matheny-Gurule'August 5, 2013 at 8:05 AM

    I need my kids to read this! You are such an inspiration to me.

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